what the fuck is happening with this mother fucking life.
Where am I going?
What am I doing?
OK stop being melodramatic and acknowledge some of the more linear aspects of my reality..
Screenwriting.. Yeah, I'm pursuing a career in screenwriting. that's working out well. I'm like a quarter of the way through my first script and it's going good... Psychology, Yes! Psychology, a degree in psychology. I have a passion for it! I love it, I understand psychology to what i feel is a high degree. I want to know how people think...
But the moment eludes me.. Why the hell can't I get off youtube?... Why the hell can't I stop jacking off to naive young women taking off their clothes in front of the camera for their boyfriends? Why the FUCK can't I stop eating? I'm gaining a fucked up amount of weight in too little amount of fucking time and it' really fucking sucks. i have fucking stretch marks for fuck sake.... Why the fuck am I so attached to saying fuck right now? Fuck, I just wanna type it over and over and over again. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK fuck fuck Fuck FuCK FuK Fuck free fucks delevered to fuck central non biased dfucks free to fuck the living fuck out of whoever the fuck this fuck so wishes. God fuck shit loving fuck mister fuck man insane bi polar fuck unredeemable mother fuck psycho dream american dream fuck deliberately fuck the lfe out of the fucking stupid archetypal mother fucking dreams and stupid boring lives of the mother fucking bullshit we call life. GOD FUCKIGN DAMMIT WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!!!
cathc my drift??.......
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Sunday, May 3, 2009
"Stupid" Vs. 'Smart" Spirituality
I need to get some stuff off my chest.
For a while now I've been witnessing what I can call a general dichotomy that exists in the world of spirituality: Stupid (non/irrational) Versus Smart (rational) Spirituality.
The former has really been bugging me for a while now. Maybe because I see a lot of the tendencies of it's practioners in myself, for I know very well hat it feels like to be a naive spiritualite hell-bent at pointing out to everyone how they don't exist and that everything is God and how we're all one together on this planetary gaia consciousness... Ugh....
Or maybe because I just can't stand people running around calling others shape shifting reptilians in disguise because they carry a hint of pessimsm in their tones. Maybe because I don't run around paranoid that the world is going to end in 2012. Maybe because I'm not a fucking moron.
Once it happened..
About a year and a half ago I attended a spiritual even known as Diksha where someone puts their hands on your head and transmits an certain wavelength of energy into your being. It was at a yoga studio in a nearby town. I'm the first one there on on the late Sunday evening around 8 and I find a typical yogi fellow sporting long dreads bohemian apparell disgusting goti. On me i hold Ken Wilber's A Brief History of Everything, hoping to spark an interesting chat with some who's familiar. Instead this yogi dude yanks it out of my hands and starts preaching to me about the Indian Goddess Kali who cuts off the arms of the intellect eats them shits out the remains and then eats the shit of the remains and so forth. Spouting how Ken Wilber is on this head trip...
Boy I was perturbed.. The feelings of which still have a hold on me. Not only do I hate when people preach to me I also just couldn't stand this guys condescending tone. Looking at me like a lost little lamb that he needs to nurse back to health or some shit...
But behind and my personal fury and annoyance with this buffoon lied the tension of this apparent dichotomy in this weird world of spirituality. A world that I'm not even sure I can call myself a member of anymore. I retreat to the simplistic and rather boring question of 'which one is right'?
Well don't look at me like I have some type of grand answer for you here because I fucking despise grand answers more than I despise condescending hippie douchebags.
How about you fuckheads answer for me..
Can they both exist simulteously? Well that's pretty damn obvious considering they both do already.
Are they both right in some way?
Can we reach compromise between them?
Or is it ALL a bunch of bullshit?
---- I don't know about you but I agree with the last one at this point
For a while now I've been witnessing what I can call a general dichotomy that exists in the world of spirituality: Stupid (non/irrational) Versus Smart (rational) Spirituality.
The former has really been bugging me for a while now. Maybe because I see a lot of the tendencies of it's practioners in myself, for I know very well hat it feels like to be a naive spiritualite hell-bent at pointing out to everyone how they don't exist and that everything is God and how we're all one together on this planetary gaia consciousness... Ugh....
Or maybe because I just can't stand people running around calling others shape shifting reptilians in disguise because they carry a hint of pessimsm in their tones. Maybe because I don't run around paranoid that the world is going to end in 2012. Maybe because I'm not a fucking moron.
Once it happened..
About a year and a half ago I attended a spiritual even known as Diksha where someone puts their hands on your head and transmits an certain wavelength of energy into your being. It was at a yoga studio in a nearby town. I'm the first one there on on the late Sunday evening around 8 and I find a typical yogi fellow sporting long dreads bohemian apparell disgusting goti. On me i hold Ken Wilber's A Brief History of Everything, hoping to spark an interesting chat with some who's familiar. Instead this yogi dude yanks it out of my hands and starts preaching to me about the Indian Goddess Kali who cuts off the arms of the intellect eats them shits out the remains and then eats the shit of the remains and so forth. Spouting how Ken Wilber is on this head trip...
Boy I was perturbed.. The feelings of which still have a hold on me. Not only do I hate when people preach to me I also just couldn't stand this guys condescending tone. Looking at me like a lost little lamb that he needs to nurse back to health or some shit...
But behind and my personal fury and annoyance with this buffoon lied the tension of this apparent dichotomy in this weird world of spirituality. A world that I'm not even sure I can call myself a member of anymore. I retreat to the simplistic and rather boring question of 'which one is right'?
Well don't look at me like I have some type of grand answer for you here because I fucking despise grand answers more than I despise condescending hippie douchebags.
How about you fuckheads answer for me..
Can they both exist simulteously? Well that's pretty damn obvious considering they both do already.
Are they both right in some way?
Can we reach compromise between them?
Or is it ALL a bunch of bullshit?
---- I don't know about you but I agree with the last one at this point
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